I'm Ranting. Are You Listening?

Wow I am ready to rant.  Sometimes I wish I could just record my rant and play a recording of it because I feel like I lose some of the ranting-ness when I type.  Regardless, I'm giving it a go.

So, what will I rant about today?  I'm expressing my strong feelings about the ungratefulness and/ or stupidity and/ or immaturity of some BYU-Idaho students.  Sometimes I honestly want to smack people upside the head!!!

I don't understand what people could POSSIBLY complain about regarding BYUI.  Okay, I can see how some people wish we had intercollegiate sports...but that's about it.

Here's what's happening at BYUI.  You are coming to an LDS school and paying $1825 for a semester (starting Fall 2013...it's a little cheaper right now).  A SEMESTER.  That's $152 per credit.  ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY TWO dollars per credit.  Wanna know what you should be paying for a BYU-Idaho education?  Closer to $10,000- $12,000 (one of my professors estimates it's even more then that) a semester.  You are getting your education at an 80% discount.

What are you getting for that $1825?  You get classes with an average of 30 students.  You get professors who know your name, care about your life and want you to succeed.  You get professors who have worked in the real world and who are at the top of their game. You get a fitness center built in 2011 with brand new equipment worth about a million dollars...for free.  You get an amazing gym you can use at your discretion.  Racquetball/ Wallball courts, a pool, and even more gyms.  You get a 15,000 seat top-of-the-line, award winning auditorium.  In the auditorium you get spiritual fulfillment every week from some of the greatest leaders of the church today.  You get hands-on experience in every.single.major.  There's a cadaver lab (with four bodies), 16,000 sq feet of greenhouses and hundreds of thousands of feet of outdoor gardens, an automotive body shop, a welding lab, a woodworking shop, a photography lab, art labs, a state-of-the-art industrial kitchen and bakery, sewing labs, a preschool lab where you actually work with children, an off-site livestock center with all sorts of large animals and animal labs, ballrooms upon ballrooms, newsrooms, broadcasting studios, a geology and wildlife museum, chemistry and physics labs....should I go on?!

Student services.  You have free tutoring for practically any class you could want.  Besides one-on-one tutoring there are accounting, physics, chemistry, economics, math, writing, and foreign language open tutoring centers. Free fitness consultants at the gym.  Free fitness workshops every night including Zumba, yoga, pilates, cycling, abs that rock, water aerobics, Latin Jam, step classes and more.  Free nutrition counseling and full-body assessments at the Wellness Center.  Free any-kind-of counseling by licensed professionals at the counseling center.  A free computer help desk to assist with any laptop/ computer problems you may encounter and 24 hour phone service to assist you if you are at home.  $1 Ballroom, Latin, Country and Swing dances every week with and extra hour of instruction included.  Dirt cheap performances by entertainers from around the country.  Bill Cosby, The PianoGuys, The Chinese Acrobats, Diamond Rio, Jim Brickman, Chris Mann to name a few.

And what do students do?  They COMPLAIN.  They complain because they have to be home by midnight.  They complain because they can't wear shorts and flip-flops on campus.  They complain because they have to go to church and fhe.  They complain because they have homework.  They complain because their roommates are goody-two-shoes.  They complain because they have the wrong track.  They complain because they can't come on their off-track.  They complain because they can't get into a class.  They complain because they didn't get a scholarship.  They complain because there's too much group work.  They complain because they have to go to school through July when their friends were done months ago.  They complain because Rexburg is small.  They complain because there's "nothing to do here."  They complain that the university is stealing their agency.  They complain that the library isn't open later.  They complain that the food on campus is too expensive.  They complain it's too cold/ windy.  They complain and complain and complain. 

I'm sick of it.  I'm sooooooo done and over it. 

I talk to people on a weekly basis who are practically begging me to help them get into BYU-Idaho.  Who would give almost ANYTHING to be here and can't for some reason or another (don't meet requirements, miss deadlines etc).  It breaks my heart when I know that there are so many people who don't have the opportunity to come here and then there are hundreds here who take every last bit of it for granted. 

Yesterday, I was talking with a friend who went on a date with a guy who turned out to be a real jerk.  And that's putting it lightly.  He had no respect for her or for women in general and it made me sick hearing what he tried doing to her.  I won't lie.  I want him gone.  I want him to leave and never come back.  I want him to withdraw from his classes two weeks before finals and I don't want a single thing he did to count this semester.  He doesn't deserve to be here.  I am FURIOUS!  And I have no problem saying it.

Great things come from sacrifices.  And if I have to sacrifice wearing shorts to class to go to a university with everything listed above, then it's a no-brainer.  And I'm not going to complain.  I'm going to be grateful that's the only sacrifice I'm making.  Actually, it's not the only sacrifice.  I'm a fall/ spring student.  So I don't go to school January- April.  Weird, I know.  But because of this system, BYU-Idaho can admit approximately 6,000 more students per year.  When people come into the office to complain about their track, sometimes I want to tell them that based on their application, they probably wouldn't have even gotten into BYUI without the track system.  And I'm sorry, you may have to grow up sooner than expected and find a job out here instead of going home every summer to work at Dairy Queen.  Trust me, I know you can find a different job...you just haven't looked yet.  Welcome to the real world where things don't always go as planned and sometimes you have to make decisions you didn't think you would have to make.  Do you want to come to BYUI or do you want to sell pest-control in the summer.  Yes, I understand you make a lot of money doing that.  That's fantastic!  I wish I could make $30,000 in three months without a college degree.  If I could do that, I'd probably drop out of college and just do that full-time!  So what do you want?  Do you want to come to BYU-Idaho?  Because maybe you're going to have to make a sacrifice to do so.

If you don't want to come here then don't.  There are thousands of other universities you can go to that let you wear shorts and flip-flops to campus and let you say out as long as you want every night.  No one is checking up on you.  No one cares if you go to church.  No ones cares if you pass your classes.  No ones cares what your name is or what you want to do with your life.

Maybe that's a slight exaggeration on some points.  I will admit, I'm sure it is.  But not on every point.

Think about it.  Think about why you want to be here and what a privilege it is to be here.  Think about how many people here are rooting for you to succeed in life!  Think about how many people around the world wish they were in your place.  Think about how much extra sleep you get because you're home by midnight everynight ;)

I know I'm preaching to the choir.  I doubt anyone that reads this (if you've actually read this whole thing you are my new favorite person) that hates BYUI and is now going to change their outlook on it.  But I had to get it out.  Thanks for listening to my rant.  More might be coming soon.

Bored. Boring. Boringest.

I think I've lost my knack for writing funny stuff on my blog.  It all seems so boring.  I literally do nothing worth writing about this semester.  I go to work, eat, take an occasional nap, work, work some more, go to class, maybe do some homework, work, go to church and sleep.  That's it.  Next semester will be better.  I promise.  And if it isn't, there's going to be some major issues.     

Busy Tonight!: A New Philosophy on Dating

People are often surprised by the fact that I don't go on many dates.  Don't get me started on why, I have no idea.  Ask the boys, not me.  This is not a post to complain about a lack of dates.  This is a post about my new philosophy of dating.  My new and improved dating rules.  I haven't really had dating rules before, so anything I do must be improved!  Now, here's where my new rule stems from.  A devotional given by Sister Elaine S. Dalton, October 11, 2011 at BYU-Idaho.  I was in attendance at this devotional.  It's entitled Dare Great Things.  It's interesting because at the time, I was still deciding whether or not to go to Peru.  She talked a lot about stepping out of our comfort zones and all I could think of was Peru.  Dating was not on my mind.  Then, a few weeks ago, I remembered this devotional and what Sister Dalton counseled on dating.  I'm going to now share part of her address with you, my faithful blog readers.

"Now for my discovery about dating—nothing has changed really. And it’s precisely because you haven’t changed. You see the principle is that the structure is perfectly designed to get the results it gets. Let me illustrate this principle. Take this potato peeler—which you have to be familiar with here in Rexburg! See how it works. It is perfectly designed to get these results! Even this little point is designed perfectly to remove the eyes of the potatoes and look at these results. So in order to get results or dates here on this campus or any campus or anywhere there are young single adults, you have to redesign the structure for the intended results. And of course that means you must determine, and I mean seriously determine just what results you really want—really! So instead of talking to you about marriage and family, I am going to start on a more elementary level. Let’s just focus on getting dates. Dates for the purpose, of course, of finding an eternal companion, but let’s do first things first! Because you certainly can’t marry, and become parents of a beautiful family, unless you actually go on a date (probably a lot of dates). So let’s start there. I am going to suggest a structure change.
 
Young women—stop hanging out. Stop competing with each other in a group for the attention of the available men in the room. Make yourself scarce. The boys won’t notice for a while and they’ll keep hanging out and then all of a sudden they’ll say—“Hey where are the girls?” Then they will huddle and brainstorm about whom to text to come and join them. When the text comes, don’t go join them—just text back: “Busy tonight.”

Then wait till they call you and personally ask you to go on a date with them. Not to hang out or congregate with a lot of others, just the two of you and perhaps one other couple—on a date. According to Elder Dallin H. Oaks, this is what this means, “Hanging out consists of numbers of young men and young women joining together in some group activity. It is very different from dating…Dating is pairing off to experience the kind of one-on-one association and temporary commitment that can lead to marriage in some rare and treasured cases.”


So what's my new rule?  No more Friday night hanging out.  I'm either on a date, or curled up at home by myself doing homework.  What constitutes hanging out versus a date?  Well I want at least 24 hours notice.  I might bend slightly up to 12 hours, but preferably 24.  If someone wants to take me out, then they can plan something in advance.  I deserve at least that much, don't I?  I'm not going to be the last minute call because some boy is bored at 9:00 at night and decides then that he should be doing something more than sitting at home on a Friday night.  Now, this applies for Friday nights only...and maybe Saturday depending on the circumstance.  I'm perfectly fine with someone wanting to do something spontaneous on a weekday.  Honestly, I have a harder time planning those because you never know how homework is going to go.  So a random ice cream trip, walk around town, or movie is perfectly acceptable...just not on Friday night :) 

Call me crazy.  I certainly think I am.  If I thought I didn't get dates before, I'm definitely not expecting many now.  And trust me, it's going to be hard to decline something fun on Friday night just because I was invited later than I've set as an acceptable time.  BUT, with time, maybe something will pay off.  And if not, I'll find someone somewhere else...and my homework will get done early :)

(If interested, you can read her full address here.)

2 years of Bloggerness

Wow, usually I limit myself to one blog post a day.  Anything more than that is a little overzealous.  Well, today I have four.  Can you tell I realllllly don't want to start studying for finals?  And I haven't blogged in a bit and there are so many things to say!  Don't judge me.

This is a post to commemorate my TWO YEARS of blogging (the exact anniversary was actually July 2nd).  Can you belive I started this thing two years ago and have actually been a faithful writer?!  I'm telling you, if you have to decide between blogging and homework, the blogging will come first. 

Here are some fun facts from my blog:
- It has had 7,641 page views
- This will be my 139th post
- I also published 152 more posts on my Peru Blog and it has 4,459 pageviews
- I've had 76 views from Peru, 28 from Saudi Arabia, 24 from Russia 17 from the UK and 15 from Israel...
- My most viewed post was The Skinny on Skinnies which has more than double the views of any other post.

Okay, if you're bored out of your mind and are procrastinating homework too, here's a few places you can visit to waste some time :)  Embarrassing stories, funny stories, life events and good memories.  I love blogging.

- I Met A Boy!
- Operation: Something's Fishy
- Conditioner? Shampoo!
- President to President
- Food for Thought...Or Cleanliness
- How to Creep a Girl Out 101
- Blessed
- Interjections!

And here's a few from Peru...

- I Promise, there IS a Bathroom
- Mopping Floors
- Our First Field Trip
- The Never-Ending Latin Dance
- Drunks in the Park
- The Best Bike Ride EVER
- Who Cut the Cheese?
- The Sickest Post You've Ever Read
- A Mile in Their Shoes

Missing BYUI

On Sunday there was a CES fireside broadcasted from BYUI.  I’ve been waiting YEARS for them to come to BYUI to do the broadcast and the semester I leave is the semester they decide to do it there.  Sadly, we missed the first 10 minutes of the broadcast because we didn’t get out of the birthday party on time.  I can’t even express how heartbroken I was that I didn’t get to see the choir sing or the special music number or wide shots of our beautiful auditorium.  I wanted to see that little piece of home soooo bad.  I wanted to find my friends in the audience so I could say I saw them while in Peru!  It was not meant to be.

We got there right as Elder Perry started speaking…although all we could hear was the Spanish translator over him.  I was so conflicted as to what to listen to because you could faintly hear the English at parts but it took just as much concentration to pick that out and block out the Spanish as it did to try and listen to the Spanish and figure out what it was talking about.  I picked out works and phrases, sometimes stories, but overall I didn’t get much of the flow.  I’ll need to go re-watch it sometime. 

I had an epiphany while watching the broadcast though.  I am so blessed to know what the prophets and apostle’s voices sound like!  People all around the world have to listen to a translator and don’t get to hear them speaking their own language.  I get to hear their words exactly as they mean them to be…nothing gets “lost in translation.”

The closing song was great as we got to watch the choir sing and pick out our friends and roommates.  Oh goodness, I love BYUI so much!  And I miss it!  I can’t wait for Spring when I can go back and have “normal life” again…although this break is quite the adventure and I’m sad it has to end.

I registered for my spring classes this morning and it was a piece of cake.  I had my mom helping me back home as well to make sure I could get all the classes I wanted.  I’m glad the freshman days are over where it took 10-20 minutes to get one class to add because so many people were jamming up the system.  

So, what’s my schedule looking like?  Let me tell you.  I’m taking Advanced First Aid, Program Planning and Implementation, Anat and Phys II, Exercise Physiology and Confectionary.  Plus I’ll be working 14 hours (maybe more if they make me…but 14 is good for me haha) a week and hopefully have a calling I enjoy.  It’s going to be one crazy semester and I think I might be crazy for taking Anat and Phys II and Exercise Phys in the same semester since they’re both really tough classes, but you gotta do what you gotta do…and I gotta graduate soon!

Blessed

Today I’ve been thinking a lot.  Surprised?  Well, don’t be.  I happen to think about a lot of things.  It’s Sunday and time to reflect on a lot of things and today I’ve been reflecting on how blessed I am.  I think about this quite a bit and I surprise myself by thinking something new every time.  

As we were walking to church yesterday morning (it’s about a 30 minute walk) I was looking at the scenery around me.  It’s nothing like anywhere I’ve ever seen in America.  I can’t take my eyes off the sidewalk as I walk because I’m afraid I’ll step in some sort of Animal poop.  I suddenly because so grateful for how clean my country is.  I’ve always taken that for granted.  I’ve never thought about it before but I will think of it from now on.

(In no particular order)

I’m blessed to attend a university.  Just to attend any sort of university is a blessing but I’m double-y blessed because I attend BYU-Idaho.  I get to go to school and receive a temporal education that gives me so much knowledge about the world around me PLUS helps me grow spiritually.  I have friends there that share my values and beliefs and I am blessed to know they care about me and love me, no matter what.

I’m blessed to have a sound mind.  I learn things quickly and I can understand them.  Everything I learn in school is preparing me to make a difference in the world.  Whether I get a full-time job in my field right after graduation or not, I’ll have that knowledge forever.  I can influence those around me.  I am blessed to live in a place where I can express my opinion if I want and where I can teach others the things I have learned.

I’m blessed to have learned how to read and write.  I can’t even imagine what the world would look like if you couldn’t read or write.  Actually, I assume it would be much like going to a foreign country!  Except you’d be there all the time and always have to rely on others to get by and help you out.  I love books and I love reading.  I’m blessed to have a plethora of books at home to choose from, as well as a library close by to satisfy whatever learning cravings I have.

I’m blessed to live on the same continent and in the same country as so much church history.  I’m a three hour drive from Kirtland, nine from Palmyra and the Sacred Grove, 12 (?) from Nauvoo and Carthage and a mere 30 hours to Salt Lake City.  I’ve visited all of these places and benefited from the things they’ve taught me.  Most of the people here will never get to experience even one of those sites and I’ve been to them all.

I’m blessed to have a home and family.  I have a dad who’s always had a solid job and has been able to provide for us.  We’ve always had the temporal necessities and we’ve been able to have fun as well.  I’ve never had to worry where my next meal will come from, I’ve never had to eat the same thing every single day, I’ve never had to rely on only the food I could grow in my backyard and I’ve never gone a day without food if I was hungry.  I’ve never been without hot water, soap, a toothbrush or toothpaste, clean socks, shoes that fit me or anything like that.  I’ve always had chocolate in the cupboard and ice cream in the freezer if I was craving something sweet and delicious.  I have a mom who’s been able to stay at home and take care of me when I was sick.  I’ve had medicine stocked in the cupboard for any type of illness that arose, and if we didn’t have it I’ve always had a doctor close by who I could visit.

I’m blessed to have a house that is more than big enough to fit my family.  I’m blessed that it has hot, running water and that it smells good.  I’m blessed to have tile floors and carpets that clean easily.  I’m blessed to own cleaning products so that when I’m not feeling lazy I can clean the house (or apartment, or wherever I’m living).

I’m blessed to have my own bed.  I have blankets to keep me warm and a pillow to rest my head. 

I’m blessed to have parents that are married and who have stayed married.  I’m blessed they have continually worked on their marriage and persevered through any rough patches.  I’m blessed they both have parents that are married and who set good examples for good relationships.  I’m blessed to have both sets of grandparents still alive, working, and laughing.  They are all wonderful and have so much to share with me.  I know I don’t take full advantage of them and their knowledge.

I’m blessed to know how to operate a computer…and then to own my own computer.  You can learn so much about the world just by logging onto the internet!  Most of the kids I work with can’t operate a computer.  It’s almost incomprehensible that a child doesn’t know how to type or look up a useless, funny YouTube video.  

  

I’m blessed to have good health.  Besides the occasional cold and runny nose, there hasn’t been much wrong with me.  I have to go to the chiropractor sometimes but that’s almost a blessing since it feels so ridiculously amazing.  As mentioned earlier, whenever I do feel bad, I can go to a doctor.  A specialist if I have to.  And then I can get whatever medicine they prescribe.

I’m blessed with shoes that fit me.  I’m blessed with more than one pair of shoes.  I have my old tennis shoes for dirty work, my new tennis shoes (which aren’t looking too hot since they came to Peru with me), more than enough heels and flats, some sturdy winter boots for the cold months and even a nice cute pair.  I’m blessed that my tennis shoes have shoelaces and my shoes with straps and buckles have those in working condition.

I’m blessed to have grown up in an area with clean drinking water.  I don’t have to purchase or boil all water I ingest.  Even if I don’t like the taste of it, I can turn on a faucet and drink to my heart’s desire.

I’m blessed to have grown up in a country with peanut butter.  Seriously, how does anyone live without that stuff??  And nutella.  I’ve just discovered that in college and don’t know how I thought my life was complete before it.

Oh there is so much more I could write about but I’ll stop there.  These are just a few of the things I was thinking about.  Now, don't think I've never realized these before and I'm having some huge epiphany because I'm in Peru.  I've known my entire live how blessed I've been and I try not to take it for granted.  BUT some things I now have a new appreciation for and feel even MORE blessed.  I don’t know how I got so lucky, but it’s the cards I’ve been dealt and I am so grateful!!

The Emotional "Norm"

Are emotions weird or what?  One minute I'm happy and the next I don't know what to do with myself.  It's been a roller coaster of emotions since being in Peru and I'm not even that emotional of a person!  Seriously, I don't know how boys deal with girls.  How do girls even deal with girls?!  Wait...how can I even stand to deal with myself?!  It's insane.  It can be a fun insane and it can be the crappiest insane there is.

You know what stinks about emotions?  No one has the same emotion at the same time in exactly the same way.  There's no way to EVER know EXACTLY what someone is feeling like.  It's kind of a depressing thought.  People handle situations in different ways and then we (including myself of course) judge them based on how they react if it isn't the same way we would.  Then I get mad when people judge me.  Get this, I get mad when people are inconsiderate which, in turn, makes me do something slightly inconsiderate.

Being in Peru has had me thinking about a lot of things.  It's strange to see a little kid fall down and start crying.  I know that sounds ridiculous but I subconsciously thought kids in Peru should be tougher than American kids and wouldn't ever cry.  I forgot they were normal kids for a second.  I see the old women carrying loads on their backs I could NEVER carry and I wonder how they feel about that.  Are they happy with their life?  Do they wish for something more?  What kids of things to they think and feel?  I think it's human nature to wish for more no matter our situation.  Not necessarily in a bad way, just that we want to progress and keep making our lives better.

Do they feel upset when they look back on their life and see that they're in the same small town they started in?  Do they have regrets?  I wish so bad that I could talk to each one and hear their story.  I'll bet some have been in similar situations I've been in.  But at the same time I feel like my life experiences and theirs could NEVER be compared.  We could never have had the same emotions.  I've always had everything I could ever need or want.  But, what if they have too??  Their standards are surely different than mine but who's to say that because they have less they haven't always had everything they've ever dreamed of.

You want to know what's most frustrating about this whole train of thinking?  I'll never know the answer!!!!!  Even if I could talk to them I don't think I'd get it figured out.  Heck, I've lived with roommates for a year or more and I still don't understand their thinking and I know they are sure confused about mine.  I need to be less judgmental about people and their emotions.  I also need to cut myself a break.  Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't have certain emotions because it's "the norm" and I don't enjoy being "the norm." I want to be different.  I feel like showing certain emotions is a sign of weakness or lesser thinking...like conforming and not being my own person.

Well, Abigail, it's okay to be normal.  It's okay to cry when things are hard and it's okay to want to curl in a ball under a blanket and never want to come out.  It's okay to be jealous and it's okay to want to scream at the top of your lungs.  It's okay to hide your face in your pillow and it's okay to punch your pillow.

It's also okay to comfort someone when they're down, even if you have no idea what's going through their mind.  It's okay to laugh at someone's joke and it's okay to jump up and down with excitement.  It's okay to give a hug to a friend and it's okay to just remember the good times.  It's okay to do those "normal" things.......Wait, didn't I just talk earlier about how there are no "normal" emotions since we are all different and we could never know how anyone else is feeling?  Is "normal" just something we perceive in our lives or is it something real?  I feel like this post has just gone in a big circle and I apologize. 

I've come to the conclusion that we all feel the same general emotions and are hence "normal" and yet we experience them all in such different ways it makes nothing "normal."  So when we experience emotions we should embrace them as our own!  No one else is going to feel this way EVER.  There aren't many things in life that you can have just for yourself, but your emotions are all yours.  If you want to cry, then I say "go for it!"  I'm not perfect and so if, from my life experiences, I think you're crying for a dumb reason then I will most likely silently judge you.  Hopefully, as these times come up, I will remember what I've thought about today and try to be more understanding, but when you don't know what's going through a person's head it's just near darn impossible.  I don't know if this sounds like I'm rationalizing my judging of people (and maybe I am) but I'm not trying to.  I'm more trying to put into words why I think, I think the way I think. (Think is a really funny word if you say it a lot in one sentence.)

Okay, I've babbled enough without making any sense and now that I'm about to publish this I feel like I may have blogged on a similar subject previously.  Oh well.  Let me know if you have any thoughts on the matter.

       

Every so Often...

Every so often you make a small, little decision that ends up impacting the rest of your life.  Most of the time we don't even know what these little decisions are until months or years later, and sometimes we never know.  It's interesting to look back at your life and pinpoint those decisions that made such a big difference.  It's also interesting to have someone else point them out for you. 

This may have happened to me late last night.

It's Peru, and Noelle, Brittany and I had some girl talk where we were able to get to know each other a little better.  I loved talking with them and I know we're going to be great friends by the end of this.  We were actually laughing at how well things were going and how we work perfect together even though we've lived together less than a week.  Anyways, a lot has happened this past year and a lot of decisions were made.  There are so many stories that I've laughed at with roommates over the past few semesters that I thought were JUST funny stories.  Things that happen that can't be written on a blog for sheer embarrassment purposes.  Turns out (since Noelle and I know many of the same people), at least one of these unmentionable stories was one of those little decisions.  Had I done/ said something different in that one moment, my whole year could have changed.

Now, I wouldn't change this past year for anything.  I loved (most) all the ups and downs and I've definitely learned and grown from every experience.  But "what if's" are sometimes fun to think about and this one has had me thinking.

I wish that at the end of my life I could look back and see exactly the decisions that got me to where I was, and the places I could have been had I done something different.  I mean, by now I could have been married, flunked out of school, never even finished high school and living under some bridge, gallivanting through Europe, studying at Harvard, starring in the next major motion picture opposite Zac Efron or living in an igloo...who really knows?!  I can't think about it too much though...it'll hurt my brain and that's already fried from this learning-a-new-language thing.     

The Skinny on Skinnies

Fine, I'll put in my two cents on this whole skinny jeans hoopla.  For those who are not familiar with BYU-Idaho, we have an honor code that we agree to live by when we accept admission to the school.  This includes refraining from alcohol, tobacco and premarital sex, having a curfew, being clean shaven and yes, a dress code.  All students MUST agree to this code before coming here.  This code is not church-wide, it even differs from the honor code at BYU in Provo, UT (brought to fame last year with the BYU basketball team).  This is an honor code specifically for students of BYU-Idaho.

Recently, there have been issues with the dress code.  It's probably the part of the honor code that gets the most crap from students.  Why?  Because clothing is how we identify ourselves.  We follow trends or we rebel from trends.  The colors we wear reflect our mood.  The brand of our clothes shows how wealthy we (or our parents) are.  Our clothing lets the world know that we woke up early and took time to get ready or we just rolled out of bed and barely made it to class in something other than what we slept in.  People get defensive about their clothes and most do not find it amusing when others tell them how to dress.

The thing is, when we came to BYU-Idaho, we agreed to dress a certain way.  We agreed to no shorts, capris or flip-flops on campus.  I'm sorry if flip-flops are the only shoes you own but you need to get some new shoes.  I'm sorry if your definition of a knee length skirt included skirts that come two inches above your knee but you need to get some new skirts.  You don't have money for that?  Then why did you agree to come to a school you have no clothes for?! 

I'm getting off-track (hooray for cracking an admissions joke in the middle of my blog).  Skinny jeans.  Where do they fit in the honor code?  Personally, I don't like skinny jeans.  They don't look good on me and I highly doubt I will ever purchase a pair for myself.  I do not find them particularly attractive but at the same time, I'm not bugged when other people wear them.  The honor code does state that clothing should not be formfitting.  Skinny jeans are one of those articles of clothing that can go either way.  There are jeans that fit your leg and then jeans that suck the life out of your leg.  Another formfitting article would be leggings.  Thick tights, if you ask me.  These are popping up all over campus and I've had enough of them.  They are about the formfitting-est things you can wear. 

Is BYU-Idaho saying that skinny jeans are of the devil?  What about shorts and flip-flops?  NO THEY ARE NOT!!  They are merely saying that skinny jeans do not comply with the honor code as it is laid out.  This means you do not have to repent for wearing skinnies to the store just like you don't have to repent for wearing flip-flops to the beach.  Skinny jeans are not of the devil and they do not induce sexual thoughts (as some of my peers have suggested), they are just not in compliance with the honor code!  Wear them out and about, just not to class.

If you ask me (and no one is, but you're reading this so technically you were looking for my opinion), I'll tell you I'm glad the university is finally doing something about this epidemic sweeping campus.  I don't think the administration really thinks skinny jeans are causing moral problems on campus.  I think they are seeing the students wearing leggings and other non-real-pant articles and then drawing the line at skinny jeans because the students obviously can't think for themselves as to what is appropriate.  The enforcement is in place for those who struggle the most.  Laws are created for the weakest of us and that's what this is.  If girls don't watch their skirt length I would venture to say that in the next few semesters they'll go from knee length to mid calf.

Some people might be taking the skinny jean thing too far and I can definitely see how some people are going to be offended by the new enforcement.  There needs to be some mutual understanding between students and administration at the beginning because it's been accepted up until this point.  I do not agree with stopping skinnies cold turkey because, truth be told, many girls only own skinny jeans.  This should be something the administration makes clear will be fully enforced NEXT semester after everyone has had time to ask for new pants for Christmas.

I have no idea if any of those ideas flowed together at all and I apologize if they didn't.  Basically, I'm glad someone is stepping up and giving some set standards.  Even though we're all raised in the same religion there are different ways to interpret things.  Maybe the girls wearing short skirts never learned where the knee was actually located, or their parents thought it would be funny to switch the word "knee" with "thigh."  Really, that's the only thing I can think of.  The enforcement is needed because if one person can wear leggings than another thinks they can and there's a whole downward spiral.  Side note- same principle with sweatpants on campus and those pants that are not quite pants but a little longer than capris (which are also skinny).

I love BYUI and I have no problem living by the standards I agreed to.  I'm sorry for those students who did not understand what they were getting into when signing the honor code.  Luckily, they're not being kicked out of school or otherwise mocked.  They're getting a nice reminder of what it means to hold up their end of a deal and be obedient. 

In four years you can leave BYU-Idaho and wear whatever the heck you want.  If you can't wait that long then leave.  There are plenty of other students who would give anything to be receiving the education you are and would happily abide all aspects of the honor code.

Time is Ticking

Have you ever thought of how time came to be?  Time in the sense of seconds, minutes, hours and days is really quite a miracle when you think about it!  Even just a few hundred years ago there was time in the Native American Americas and then separate time in Europe and another time in Africa and another time in Australia.  Heck, it was different time from Spain to Portugal or any neighboring country.  Every culture had their own way of measuring or keeping track of time.

When did the world click?  What was the point at which I, in Idaho, looked at my watch that says 5:00pm and someone in Utah looked at their watch and it said 5:00pm?  Then halfway across the world someone looked at their watch and said it's 5:00am...but on the next day?

How do millions and millions of watches everywhere tick around a little circle EXACTLY at the same time?!  How did we go from sundials to tell us what time of day it is to something that wraps around our wrist?  THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!  Now that's you're thinking about it, isn't it AMAZING?!?!

I've just been marveling recently about how awesome man is.  How creative he is.  How inspired he must be.  There's no way man could think of all these things on his own.  He just isn't that smart.  As smart as man is, I just don't think a man alone could coordinate all those watches!

A Day of Thanks

(In no particular order...)

1.  Cars, planes and means of traveling long distances in short amounts of time
2. Telephones (and the people who built all those telephone lines in the middle of nowhere)
3. The temple and what it represents
4. Whitney, Alexis, Lauren, Brittany, Hillary, Bailee, Jamie, Audra, Kadi and all other previous roommates
5. BYU-Idaho
6. The admissions office (first, for letting me come to BYUI and, more recently, for my job and the great people that work there.)
7. My family and their support in whatever I decide to do
8. Green Bay.  The people there.  Cheese.  Cheeseheads.  Seroogy's chocolate.
9. Fireplaces and fake fireplaces
10. Laptops, email, facebook, blogs and other ways to quickly communicate with people all over the world.
11. My professors
12. Food...mostly delicious food
13. PERU!  New experiences.
14. Warm socks, sweatpants and sweatshirts
15. My ancestors
16. Late night movies.  Movies to procrastinate homework.  Musicals.  Classics.  Classic musicals.
17. The Classy Clarke men.  You know who you are.
18. Classy parties
19. Beginners Rec. Volleyball.  3-0!
20. Spatulas
21. Crafts
22. Books that warm my heart
23. My faith
24. Modern-day prophets and apostles.  Modern-day revelation.
25. Shawnee High School
26. Board games...Rummikub, Cribbage, Quelf, Catch Phrase, Mastermind
27. Cameras, pictures, scrapbooks
28. Missionaries- Elder Chris Tucker, Sister Kimberly Tucker, Sister Kadi Baggett, Elder Nate Smith, Elder Taylor Haycock, Elder Myles Johnson, Elder Aaron Curth, Sister Lexi Bramwell and more
29.  Stoplights
30. Vision and hearing
31. Cinnamon and the smell of cinnamon
32. Fingernail clippers
33. Conditioner
34. Days off of school
35. Good health and a sound mind
36. Birthdays and the chance to grow older and wiser
37. Movies in heaven (hopefully these are actually real)
38. Laughing.  Laughing at nothing.  Laughing babies.  
39. Bridges
40. Umbrellas.  Singing in the rain.
41. Clouds
42. A day to think about things I'm thankful for

Happy 100!!!

Well, actually it's 101.  This is my 101st blog post!!  
(after careful review I discovered this is not the 101st blog I posted but is the 89th...I have written some that I never published on here and those were being counted as well.  I did not discover this until after this post was written.  Please forgive me for lying and continue reading.)

Now I feel like I need to say something profound....

"There is no growth in your comfort zone and no comfort in your growth zone"

I'm not sure who originally said this but it was said in devotional a few months ago and I had forgotten about it until just recently.  This is one of those quotes that I love, but I hate.  I love it because it's TRUE and I hate it because it's TRUE.

I do quite enjoy my comfort zone.  I've lived in the same apartment for a year and a half with the same girls for almost a year of that.  I have my ward (although I just got a new bishop a week ago...).  I have my classes, my job, my friends, my family.  Life hasn't changed a whole lot in the past year.  I can see where I've grown because I was pushed out of my comfort zone (last fall with starting my job AND being RS President), and I see where I've gotten too comfortable and become lazy.

Fact:  I don't like that I've become lazy.

Fact: I should be doing homework instead of blogging right now.

Fact: I'm counting this as my journal writing today so I don't feel as bad.

Fact: My lowest grade is a 95.5% right now so I haven't been too lazy.

So goals for the coming months include getting out of my comfort zone and not having regrets.  

Life is going so well and I couldn't be much happier.  I have my moments but they are few and far between.  Besides the regular college stressors (that's a word, right?) I'm fairly stress free!  I have been so blessed to have an adorable apartment, excellent and caring roommates, a family that supports me in whatever I decide to do, and a pomegranate for dinner.

Charlie Brown "Happiness" 

  
PS- I have no idea why my font size is huge and I can't get it to go back to normal...

A Time For...

what?  WHAT?!?!  What is it time for??!!!?!?!

I have no idea and it's driving me crazy.  Why do I have such a hard time with big decisions?  Why do I have to over-analyze everything?  Why can't I just make a decision and stick to it?  Why can't someone just explain how the rest of my life is going to go to me?  Why can't someone just make the decision for me?  Why do I lose sleep over this kind of stuff?

Well, I guess I'm glad no one is making my decisions because I would be quite upset with them.  I'm glad I don't know the end from the beginning because that would take the fun and excitement out of life.  If I went to bed earlier I probably wouldn't lose sleep.

Sometimes I don't know the answer to something that seems important and I really do get frustrated.  I want to feel good about every decision I make.  I don't want to have any more regrets than I already have.  Regret is maybe the worst feeling in the world.  You knew you were supposed to do one thing and then you did another.  Why would you do something you knew you weren't supposed to do?  Beats me.  But I've done it before.  Mostly out of pride, I think.

I want to be the absolute best person I can be and that takes a lot of work.  Sometimes it takes more work than I'm willing to put in and that has been the cause of numerous regrets.  I'm setting a new goal.  I want to live my life with no regrets.  I want to work through problems and decisions and feel happy in the end, even if things don't turn out how I want them to.  This is not something that will change overnight and it's not something that I'll ever accomplish but it's something I can work at everyday, in every little thing I do.  No matter what time it is, I want to be ready for whatever is next. 

This is so much easier said than done.  But I know I can do it!!

Divorce

Weird topic to blog about, I know...But it's been on my mind the last few days so I'm putting it out there! 

It all started with me leaving work...or trying to leave work.  I was on my way out the door when a coworker asked me if I ever thought about divorce.  I told him that I didn't.  I figure you can't go worrying about divorce because if you do then you're just waiting for it to happen or waiting for something to go wrong...even if it probably won't.  You have to expect the best out of situations, not the worst.  If I expect the worst, I will eventually get the worst.  Does that even make sense?  I'm not oblivious to the fact that people get divorced but I'm not going to go into a marriage worried that mine will end that way.

How did this subject even get brought up?  A single mother of two came into the office wanting to get back into school because she was going through a divorce and needed a way to support her two daughters.  When she got married I doubt she ever thought she would end up a single mother.  She probably thought she was going to live happily ever after.  Now her life has turned upside down.  How does a marriage get to that point in such a short amount of time?  I obviously have no idea.

Then we started thinking about all the divorces that happen on the BYUI campus.  I doubt ANY of those couples think they'll end up divorced in a few years.  They think they're completely in love and will be together forever.  And yet, something goes wrong.  I want to conduct a study.  I want to see what the predictors are, if any, for a BYUI divorce.  Is it the length of time a couple knows each other before marriage?  The length of engagement?  The age of the people involved?  The number of past relationships?  I have no idea.  I just think it would be interesting.  I also wonder what ends the marriages up here.  Money?  Misscommunication?  Ignorance? 

It was an interesting conversation.  Then my roommate and I talked about it for another hour at home that night (procrastinating homework).  It was fabulous! 

For Good

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good.

-Wicked "For Good"

Plans are for Losers

Seriously, who has time to make plans for anything?  They never turn out anyways!  Remember this post from last year about this time??  My awesome winter plans came to a crashing halt which forced me to stay in Rexburg for the semester.  Not that I didn't have fun, it was a blast, but it's kind of a pain to readjust.  And now, I'm readjusting yet AGAIN.  Great. 

Those awesome plans about going to Jerusalem to study in the winter?  Youuuuu guessed it.  They had about 200 people apply for 80 spots and I kept with tradition and failed to win a spot (it was a random drawing).  I can't say I'm not disappointed.  If I were at home and I had a room to myself I would probably bawl my eyes out but seeing as I'm in an apartment and have an image to keep up I'll settle for vent-blogging. 

Enough with the sad news.  This morning I modeled for a new campus anti-piracy advertisement.  The posters should be all around campus before school starts in September...sadly, he photographed my bad side so if the picture is kind of weird, that's what I'm blaming it on.  Then, after work, I got a call letting me know I got a position being an i-team leader for the fall!  I've always thought it would be something fun to do so I'm glad I get the chance to do it : )

Well, it's definitely been an up and then down day but Hillary and I went and got ice cream and are currently watching a chick flick so it's picking back up a little.  Everything happens for a reason and this is just another one of those times.  Back to "Plan B" again....

Lightning Strikes

It's only appropriate that I blog about Harry Potter.  It's all the rage you know.  I feel like my generation should be the Harry Potter generation.  We grew up with him.  I remember when I was so young that waiting until midnight for the next book was kind of a hard wait without falling asleep.  I was introduced to HP around 2nd grade when we started reading the first one aloud in class.  Slowly but surely I was converted and became a fan.  My brothers and I would have competitions to see who could read the books the fastest.  When a new one came out we each had a certain amount of time we were allotted before it was someone else's turn to read.  I think we bought two copies of the last few books so we wouldn't argue as much about who's turn it was.

I am also a huge fan of the movies.  I know that whatever they do can't do the books justice but all things considered I think they've done one heck of a job with them.  I haven't been disappointed in a single one!!  Part of the movies success has come from the fact that all of the main characters (besides Dumbledore) have remained the same.  We've watched them grow up.  During the last one I was noticing how Ginny is taller than Harry and it made me laugh.  But the producers wouldn't have known that was going to happen when they were cast.  I'm glad Harry's kind of a short guy who's nothing special.  It's Harry Potter.

I love the messages of the books, their intricacies, the characters you fall in love with, the cliffhangers, the blindsides, the backstabbing, the forgiveness, and everything about them.  J.K. Rowling may be richer than the Queen of England and I say "rock on!"  She deserves it.  Her idea created not just some one-hit-wonder but a phenomenon that has lasted a generation.  I'm asking for the books for my wedding.  My children will be forced to read them and then they'll love them on their own.

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.  ~J.K. Rowling, "The Mirror of Erised," Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Potential

Isn't it interesting when you can see potential in people when to the world they don't have much potential?  I gave a tour today to 10 boys from the JCC (Juvenile Correction Center) in Rexburg.  I don't know their stories or backgrounds.  I have no idea what they did to be sentenced to time there, away from their homes (all over Idaho).  I don't know how long they've been there or how long they have to stay.  All I know, is that it was one of the best tours I've taken this semester.  Those boys were well behaved.  They asked great questions.  They hung onto every word I said.  They even laughed at my jokes!  I could hear some of them talking about how they wanted to come here someday and I hope with all my heart that they will be able to!  And if they can't come to BYUI I hope they have the chance to go on to college and change the world for the better.  They are so young and I hope the counselors and teachers at the JCC are encouraging them to become bigger and better men who respect the world they live in and the people around them.

Do I live up to my full potential?  Probably most definitely not.  And that's on my good days!  I would venture to say that most people, if not all, don't live up to their FULL potential.  I believe that we just limit ourselves and what we think we can accomplish to what's comfortable and easy for us.  It's kind of sad if you really think about all that we're capable of doing and yet throw away because of peer pressure, fear, societal limits or a multitude of other things.  Maybe we should all try a little harder to be a little better.  HERE is a link to an address entitled "Your Divine Heritage" by Robert C. Oaks.  It's pretty awesome.  Check it out.   

If you tilt your head 35 degrees to the right, this picture will scream POTENTIAL to you.

Just My Type

Is there such a thing as having a "type?"  Like the type of person you'd be compatible with.  I always hear "he/ she is just not my type."  Does this even mean anything?  The more I think about it the more I think it's just an excuse to not like someone.  An excuse to let someone down easy when we aren't interested.  Sorry, you just aren't my type.

But who's to say we even know what our type actually is?  AND even if types exist, how can we be sure that a certain person is that specific type.  A type is just our perception of people.  So aren't we making people whatever type we want them to be?  I'll admit, I judge people.  I like to categorize people from the moment I meet them.  Sometimes this is a good thing (stranger danger, you know!).  Most of the time I'm sure it's a bad thing.

My type is probably what I've told myself it's going to be since I started making "future husband" lists when I was twelve.  All of those qualities I wanted created "my type".  So now if someone isn't exactly what I pictured I'd end up with they are automatically not my type.  How wrong is that?!  It's kind of prideful of me to think that at twelve years old I knew what I wanted...or what was best for me.  It's kind of prideful of anyone to think they know best, isn't it.  We don't know what's best for us.

What makes this worse is that people usually end up with their type.  Not because they actually have a type, but they never gave anyone else a chance.  I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.  It's just a thing right now.  Maybe all of those awkward couples I see on campus and wonder to myself "how the heck did those two people end up together?!" are the real heroes.  The ones who didn't care what type another person was.

Sadly "he's not my type" is not completely out of my vocabulary quite yet.  I'll try to keep an open mind if you promise to keep yours open though.      

Failure

I just want to write.  There's no funny story.  No awkward moment.  No delicious culinary masterpiece.  Just mumbo-jumbo mulling around in the gray and white matter in my head.  And I'm really tired so I don't even think anything makes sense at the moment.  Not the most opportune time to blog...maybe I should just stop while I'm ahead.

Isn't life funny?  In one of my classrooms last spring there was a quote that said "What would you do if you knew you would not fail?"  I've thought about that a lot.  What would I do if I knew I wouldn't fail?  What would anyone do?  But then would everyone succeed in everything?  That kind of defeats the purpose of success.  Like if everyone is successful then no one is.  Because if everyone that applied to Harvard got in, it wouldn't be a prestigious school.  If everyone that wanted to be a doctor became one, we would have a world of very good doctors but no one to check out our groceries or make our peanut butter cup blizzards because why would anyone work fast food if they knew they wouldn't fail at something better.

(Now I know that most fast food workers are not in there for life, I'm just trying to make a point and I already said I was tired so bare with me.)

What would happen in a singles ward at BYUI?  Yeah.  Laugh.  I know you're laughing just thinking about it.  But I can see the good and the bad.  No one would have to suffer that awful, awkward date that was doomed to fail from the beginning because it couldn't fail.  But at the same time, you wouldn't even go on dates until you came in contact with the person that you would eventually marry because breaking up is kind of a sign of failure.  And it's kind of lame to not get asked out...trust me.  Plus, some people don't get married until after graduation so they wouldn't have much of a social life during their college years which would be a bummer.  On the positive side, you wouldn't have to worry about asking someone out if you knew they would say yes, or reaching out and grabbing their hand if you knew they wouldn't think you were a freak.  You could flirt it up and not be afraid of looking like an idiot.  Oh the endless possibilities.

So maybe it would be good for some people to have the attitude of non-failure.  But if everyone did, I think we might have a problem.  Although, there's a difference in thinking you won't fail and actually not failing.

I'm definitely not a risk taker.  I like things as they are and as I know they will be.  I'm sure there are numerous things I haven't done because I've been afraid of failure.  I don't think I've ever met someone that likes the feeling of failure.  But you know what?  I'm so grateful for all of the failures out there!  They do what I'm scared to do.  They put themselves, their ideas, their emotions, and/ or their livelihoods on the line and risk it all.  Sometimes it pays off, and sometimes they crash and burn.  Failure makes a good story after the fact.  Especially for those on the outside who weren't affected.

Since we don't know that we won't fail we are forced to take risks whether we want to or not.  Some are bigger than others.  Again, I tend to stay away from the big ones.  I'm deathly afraid of looking like an idiot.  I like to have the appearance of knowing what's going on and what I'm doing, but it makes life a little boring sometimes.  I've probably missed numerous opportunities for friends, relationships, and talents because of that fear.  If you don't put yourself on the line, you really can't succeed.  So if you don't have any big failures can you really have any big successes? 

Thinking about it now, are the lack of complete (and sometimes utterly embarrassing) failures in my life a bad thing?