True Love or Creepy Stalker?

Excerpts from my 2004-2005 journal.  True Love or Creepy Stalker Girl?  You be the judge...

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004
"But one other thing is that her brother is really cute!!!!! :)  I don't tell anyone though.  His name is Nathaniel and he goes to my school so I see him in the halls every once in a while."

Wednesday, July 28, 2004
"Nathaniel broke his arm yesterday. He was riding his bike and I guess he fell off.  I wonder if he cried.  I can't picture him crying.  It just seems weird.  Maybe I should send him a get well card but he would figure out it was me.  Oh well I'll just write a fake one here.
                      Hope you get well soon!! :)
                                               Love,
                                               A Friend
PS- You're still cute with a cast/ sling"

Sunday, August 29, 2004
"Nathaniel looked so good.  He looks good in anything.  All he was wearing were jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt."

Sunday, October 10, 2004
"The deacons were on a much better behavior except for Nathaniel.  He kept making burp/ fart noises and answering questions really stupidly."

Monday, December 6, 2004
"I think Nathaniel likes me because he sat with us and played with Seth and stuff and that might not sound like he does but you just had to be there."

Saturday, January 15, 2005
"Brooke said that he (Nathaniel) jumps on top of the cars and jumps from car to car and does stuff like that.  He is one out of control kid.  Not like the rest of his family."

Sunday, February 20, 2005
"On the way back home we talked more about nothing pretty much.  He took my purple squishy pillow and started playing with it and  I told her (one of my school friends) that if he put his head on it, I might be able to make some money off of it."

Sunday, March 13, 2005
"Nathaniel wasn't that cute today."

Wednesday, March 30, 2005
"Today is Nathaniel's birthday...I don't know if I like him or not now.  Today I think I started to again.  But I don't want to.  I just can't help myself.  I still can't tell if he likes me.  Maybe if I find out if he likes me I will be able to decide if I like him or not.  He's a nice, cute, funny guy.  I just don't know."

Sunday, July 10, 2005
Taking place at a Youth Conference dance... "I turned them all down.  Some of the people I said "no" to I didn't even know.  I don't remember who was asking me but Nathaniel came over and just pushed the other guy away and asked me.  It was so funny.  I had to say no though since I turned everyone else away.... After I sat down Nathaniel came and asked again so I decided I would because it was the last song.  It was more fun dancing with him.  He talked more and got a little more into it... As we were dancing, Austin Eckel walked by and says to Nathaniel "So you finally got her to dance with you?"  He didn't respond.  I think he was a little embarrassed.  Does that mean he likes me if he was trying to get me to dance with him?  I don't know."

Our first dance.  My favorite part of the picture is that we're the same height.

More journals to come at a later time.  I think they're great.  Even if they're embarrassing, I don't really care!!

Engagement Pictures!

What I know many people have been waiting for...engagement pictures!  I haven't posted the ones on the announcement (unless I change my mind in the next few days...) so you'll still be surprised when you get it :) Enjoy!

This may have taken many, many, MANY shots to get the seeds to fly...

Look at his beautiful smile.  I'm so lucky.

I love this picture and for some reason he hates it.  I can't figure out why.  But It's my blog so I'm posting it :)

I like that you can also see the necklace he bought me for Valentines Day :)

Hooray!  We're getting married!!!

No One Ever Told Me...

I think I'm going to need a new section of my blog entitled "Things No One Ever Told Me" dedicated to me growing up and learning that life is not always what it seems and people lie.  And I mean this in a good way.

No one ever told me being engaged makes you doubt yourself in ways you never thought possible.  They never told me I would feel completely inadequate.  They never told me it's hard.  Maybe they did.  I probably wouldn't have listened.  But I don't think anyone ever told me.

It was supposed to be butterflies and roses.  I'm supposed to be happy all the time and have a countdown calendar on my phone, facebook and in my room telling me exactly how many days until I change my name.  I'm supposed to have my colors picked and my pinterest board filled with little crafty things to make a reception look cute.  I'm supposed to be the happiest girl in the world with not a care in the world.  With nothing but the best ahead.  Nothing can go wrong and there isn't a cloud in the sky.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to be getting married to a fantastic man.  The perfect man for me actually!  But gosh darn it, being engaged is hard!  And it's hard for reasons I wouldn't have even imagined before this point.  And I feel like marriage will be the same.  And then children.  And then teenagers.  And then getting old.  It's never ending.

No one ever told me.  I think it will be my new life motto.

Midterm Update

I'm just glad this is my last semester.  Can I tell you a secret??  I think I'm getting senioritis.  This canNOT happen.  I have waited four years to graduate with a bunch of little stars next to my name and I can't throw it all away this last semester!  But it's soooooo tempting.  I have two tests tomorrow.  Haven't started studying for either.  I just want to watch movies and go on walks and bake banana bread and brownies.  Not good.  Also not good for my I'm-getting-married-and-supposed-to-be-getting-skinnier look.  Ask me if I care.  Only a little.

Wedding update.  I'm in the process of booking my photographer.  We got engagements back and I'm working on getting announcements made and printed.  My mom is working on stuff back home.  Not really sure what's going on there but I'm sure it's just fine.

Life is good.