True Love or Creepy Stalker?

Excerpts from my 2004-2005 journal.  True Love or Creepy Stalker Girl?  You be the judge...

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004
"But one other thing is that her brother is really cute!!!!! :)  I don't tell anyone though.  His name is Nathaniel and he goes to my school so I see him in the halls every once in a while."

Wednesday, July 28, 2004
"Nathaniel broke his arm yesterday. He was riding his bike and I guess he fell off.  I wonder if he cried.  I can't picture him crying.  It just seems weird.  Maybe I should send him a get well card but he would figure out it was me.  Oh well I'll just write a fake one here.
                      Hope you get well soon!! :)
                                               Love,
                                               A Friend
PS- You're still cute with a cast/ sling"

Sunday, August 29, 2004
"Nathaniel looked so good.  He looks good in anything.  All he was wearing were jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt."

Sunday, October 10, 2004
"The deacons were on a much better behavior except for Nathaniel.  He kept making burp/ fart noises and answering questions really stupidly."

Monday, December 6, 2004
"I think Nathaniel likes me because he sat with us and played with Seth and stuff and that might not sound like he does but you just had to be there."

Saturday, January 15, 2005
"Brooke said that he (Nathaniel) jumps on top of the cars and jumps from car to car and does stuff like that.  He is one out of control kid.  Not like the rest of his family."

Sunday, February 20, 2005
"On the way back home we talked more about nothing pretty much.  He took my purple squishy pillow and started playing with it and  I told her (one of my school friends) that if he put his head on it, I might be able to make some money off of it."

Sunday, March 13, 2005
"Nathaniel wasn't that cute today."

Wednesday, March 30, 2005
"Today is Nathaniel's birthday...I don't know if I like him or not now.  Today I think I started to again.  But I don't want to.  I just can't help myself.  I still can't tell if he likes me.  Maybe if I find out if he likes me I will be able to decide if I like him or not.  He's a nice, cute, funny guy.  I just don't know."

Sunday, July 10, 2005
Taking place at a Youth Conference dance... "I turned them all down.  Some of the people I said "no" to I didn't even know.  I don't remember who was asking me but Nathaniel came over and just pushed the other guy away and asked me.  It was so funny.  I had to say no though since I turned everyone else away.... After I sat down Nathaniel came and asked again so I decided I would because it was the last song.  It was more fun dancing with him.  He talked more and got a little more into it... As we were dancing, Austin Eckel walked by and says to Nathaniel "So you finally got her to dance with you?"  He didn't respond.  I think he was a little embarrassed.  Does that mean he likes me if he was trying to get me to dance with him?  I don't know."

Our first dance.  My favorite part of the picture is that we're the same height.

More journals to come at a later time.  I think they're great.  Even if they're embarrassing, I don't really care!!

2 years of Bloggerness

Wow, usually I limit myself to one blog post a day.  Anything more than that is a little overzealous.  Well, today I have four.  Can you tell I realllllly don't want to start studying for finals?  And I haven't blogged in a bit and there are so many things to say!  Don't judge me.

This is a post to commemorate my TWO YEARS of blogging (the exact anniversary was actually July 2nd).  Can you belive I started this thing two years ago and have actually been a faithful writer?!  I'm telling you, if you have to decide between blogging and homework, the blogging will come first. 

Here are some fun facts from my blog:
- It has had 7,641 page views
- This will be my 139th post
- I also published 152 more posts on my Peru Blog and it has 4,459 pageviews
- I've had 76 views from Peru, 28 from Saudi Arabia, 24 from Russia 17 from the UK and 15 from Israel...
- My most viewed post was The Skinny on Skinnies which has more than double the views of any other post.

Okay, if you're bored out of your mind and are procrastinating homework too, here's a few places you can visit to waste some time :)  Embarrassing stories, funny stories, life events and good memories.  I love blogging.

- I Met A Boy!
- Operation: Something's Fishy
- Conditioner? Shampoo!
- President to President
- Food for Thought...Or Cleanliness
- How to Creep a Girl Out 101
- Blessed
- Interjections!

And here's a few from Peru...

- I Promise, there IS a Bathroom
- Mopping Floors
- Our First Field Trip
- The Never-Ending Latin Dance
- Drunks in the Park
- The Best Bike Ride EVER
- Who Cut the Cheese?
- The Sickest Post You've Ever Read
- A Mile in Their Shoes

Stars & Stripes & Saxophones Forever

I was a band geek in high school.  Through and through.  I even have senior pictures with my saxophone.  When I went off to Idaho I brought my saxophone with me and played in the band for two semesters.  Sadly, once I started working last fall I wasn't able to fit band into my schedule and I've missed it so much!

I started band in the fifth grade at Morgan L. Martin Elementary School in Green Bay, WI.  Why the sax?? Well the year before me, only ONE boy decided to play it and I thought it would be cool to be different like him.  Apparently a bunch of other kids thought the same thing.  No worries though, I loved it all the same.  That saxophone and I have been through a lot together.  We moved to Ohio.  We took a hiatus freshman year and missed each other so much we rejoined the band.  We've marched outside in 100* weather with 95% humidity AND in 20* weather with whipping winds.  We've marched through mud and dirt, in parades, at Disney World, and in state marching band finals.  How far have we marched?  Well one week of band camp was calculated to be about 26 miles of walking.  Times that by 3 years of band camp plus the hundreds of hours outside camp that we march and I figure I've carried my saxophone over at least 200 miles...at least!  We've played for Glenn Beck, Stanford Olsen, Jon Huntsman, Jon Huntsman Jr. (potential future president of the United States), thousands of audience members, and numerous conductors, judges, and church congregations.  We've played classics, pep tunes, jazz pieces, and originals.  We've had our shining moments as a soloist and shared the applause with friends.  We've made about a million mistakes but shared in two million personal victories.

Band Camp 2008 (I'm on the left in the green John Deere hat)

I never got a new saxophone.  I still play on my student model from the 5th grade.  Sure, I would have LOVED to get a nicer model.  They're so much easier to play on and tone is automatically increased 100%.  But it didn't really matter that much.  

There's just something so satisfying about playing a beautiful piece of music.  And not just from playing it well.  It's sight reading it and sounding awful and then rehearsing for hours until finally it sounds how it's supposed to and you can actually feel the music.

There will always be songs that I hold dear to me because of band.  An American Elegy is my absolute favorite.  I played it my sophomore year of high school and to this day if I listen to it, I have to stop everything else I'm doing for 11 minutes and 20 seconds and just listen.  I know every moving line, every crescendo, every swell and every moment of silence.

The other two songs are staples at the high school (and in many schools across the country).  I will always love the classic Sleigh Ride and Stars and Stripes Forever.  Whenever I hear them on the radio or played by another band I hum my part or try to remember my fingerings.  I also can't help but compare them to how we played it because in my mind, our band was the best.  IS the best.  We played the originals!

I know I can no longer call myself a band geek because I go so long between playing and my scales go at half the speed they used to, but I still love my saxophone and I love playing every chance I get.  Band gave me some of my best friends in high school and some of my best friends in college.  How can I not be grateful for that?!  I've also learned to make a top ten grateful list on days when things aren't going so well.  In honor of Mrs. Meeks (my long-time director) I've decided to blog one.  They don't need an explanation or even a good reason if you don't have one (but usually you do....), you just have to be thankful!  Try making your own.  It's just whatever pops in your head first :)

1) Clouds 

2) Chocolate chips

3) Fresh cut grass

4) Spring flowers

5) Digital Cameras

6) Sweatshirts

7) Broken-in reeds

8) Inside jokes

9) Airplanes

10) The mailman   

Alice > Anne ....maybe

About Anne (of the Green Gables variety), Mark Twain said "[she is] the most delightful child of fiction since the immortal Alice."  Well ladies and gentlemen, we are about to see if it's true.  My 14 year old sister, Meredith, just landed the lead role of "Anne" in the community theater's production of Anne of Green Gables.  Four years ago, I was privileged to play "Alice" in Alice in Wonderland at the same theater.  It was a daunting task as I had multiple pages of monologue, 2 poems, a short song and over 300 lines to memorize.  I'm not saying that my character is better than hers, but maybe I am.  I actually can't say anything because I've never read the "Anne" series and have no idea what it's actually about.  I'll be home on break during the run of the show so I guess I'll pass my judgment then.  

It's Alice with Alice! -- Magic Kingdom, Winter 2008

(Insert famous Cheshire Cat line here)

"It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards"

"I haven't the slightest idea!"

Farewell, Sister Kadilyn!

By now I'm used to the guys leaving.  I've heard since I was twelve, and moved into a ward with eight boys my age, that one day they would all turn 19 and leave on their missions and I would miss them.  It took quite a while for me to believe it but, needless to say, it's true.  I've been preparing myself for years for the time when I'd be the only one left, when I'd go back to my home ward and wouldn't have any of them to sit next to in Sunday School or joke around with.  Sure, I miss them tons but I've always known it was going to happen.

On Wednesday my old roommate Kadi left on her own mission to Tempe, AZ and I couldn't be more thrilled for her.  I met Kadi in the fall of 2009 in a cooking class here at BYUI.  We didn't sit next to each other in class.  We weren't kitchen partners.  Heck, our kitchens were on the opposite sides of the room.  And yet, she would come and talk to me every once in a while at the beginning of class, or even during class.

One day I was talking to her about my plans for future semesters and brought up that I wasn't sure where I wanted to live in the Spring, just that I wanted to get out of the dorms.  Enthusiastically, she said "Come live with me!!"  I barely knew this girl and she was inviting me to come live with her!  But as I would soon learn, that's just the kind of person Kadi is.  We continued to talk every once in a while in class but I don't think I ever had more than a five minute conversation with her.  Then one day she invited me to a pool party at her roommate's house in Rigby with their apartment and her fhe brothers.  (just imagine being a first semester freshman and getting invited to a pool party at some house you don't know by some girl you barely knew...well some people might find that fun but not me!)  So I made up some excuse as to why I couldn't go.

Funny thing is, a few of those guys at that party would become my fhe brothers in the spring and some of her roommates would become my closest friends...all because of Kadi.  Obviously I did end up coming to live with her and I met some amazing people.  I found out later that Alexis (who I now room with) thought Kadi was crazy for 1) inviting a girl she barely knew to the party and 2) inviting a girl she barely knew to live with them.

I know Kadi will be an amazing missionary because she will talk to anyone and everyone.  I was quite surprised when I found out she had turned her papers in but so excited for her!  It's been hard to see her leave since I only had a few months to prepare myself instead of a few years but she's doing a good thing and will grow so much from the experience.  I can be honest in saying that there's a slight hint of jealousy inside me that she gets to have this adventure, but everyone takes different paths in live and only time will tell whether or not mine will lead me to the far corners of the earth.

Roommates Spring 2010

A roommate date!

When she opened her mission call

Last time seeing her :(

SUPER-

BOWL... The Packers are in the Superbowl again!!!  The last time they won, I was in first grade and in second grade they went but lost.  Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's our time again!!!  Usually I couldn't care less who was in the Superbowl and wouldn't waste my time watching it but I think this year I will make an exception.  I mean, I lived in Green Bay for eight years so it's hard not to.  I miss the craziness of that town.  Our McDonalds has a green and gold roof instead of red and yellow, players would routinely come to our elementary school during lunch and give us trading cards of themselves (even though I had no idea who they were), and Friday's were green and gold days where everyone would dress up.  I just got a letter from my grandma telling me that when the Packers were in the Superbowl in first grade she was babysitting me and I tried on a bunch of different green and gold combinations and couldn't find any that I liked so I sat down, cried, and refused to go to school.  She did finally manage to get me to wear something and go but I think it's funny that I cared so much about looking cute on green and gold day.

FHE ACTIVITY...  I played in the snow for the first time in a few years last night and it was wonderful!  Ohio is not too conducive to sledding (you can go to the reservoir or....the reservoir) so I haven't gone in a while.  BYUI is on a massive hill so if you want, I'm pretty sure you could sled from the top to the bottom of campus in one long ride.  I only went down the hill once because there were massive jumps at the bottom and I'm a scardy-cat.  BUT, I kicked some butt in the snowshoe races...kicked my own butt that is.  I raced three times and I fell three times.  More like totally biffed it three times.  Running in snowshoes is much harder than it looks.  You can't put your weight forward like normal racing, you have to stand straight up and run...it's hard.  I raced Jamie so that I could beat her at something and we were neck and neck until the very end when I started pulling away so she tried to push me down.  But I outwitted her and dove for the finish line!!  Yeah, that was funny.  Needless to say, I was sore the rest of the night and today I don't have full function in my neck back.  But it was worth it for the hour or so of fun I had.

TARDFRAG*...  Dear Tardfrag,  Do you know how big of an idiot you are?!  Do you realize how lucky you are that you picked the sweetest, more forgiving girl at BYUI to play?  Because had you done to me what you did to her, you wouldn't act so happy and you would be scared to show your face anywhere near our apartment.  Love, your secret dis-admirer.

This is the only picture that google images came up with for "tardfrag"....

 ROOMMATE...  I have been so blessed to have four awesome room-roommates since being at school.  Castellia, Audra, Whitney, and now Alexis.  This is my third semester living with Alexis and we decided we liked each other enough to share a room.  What an adventure it's been so far!  You know what's weird?  We're practically opposites in everything.  If someone asks which pair of earrings we like better we choose different ones.  We have opposite tastes in boys (ahem)...men.  We get along fabulously but just can't seem to have the same opinion about anything.  I think it affirms the law that opposites attract.  The one thing we agree on is Steve.  No worries, as I said before, we don't like the same guys and will never have that fight.  Steve is a pillow.  A long, slender, cozy, fuzzy, practically-perfect-in-every-way body pillow.  His permanent residence is on Alexis' bed but sometimes he comes to mine for sleepovers :P  Speaking of bedtime, it's going to be bad next semester when we have to get up early for classes because we spend an hour every night before bed just talking...about anything and everything.  That's what roommates are supposed to do, right?  Oh, and we spy.  A LOT.  So if you see four eyes through the blinds of 217 they're probably ours.  You wouldn't believe all the stuff we find out just by watching people late at night (or early in the morning, or in the middle of the afternoon...)!!   

    
TIRED...  Goodnight all :)

*Note: The phrase "tardfrag" is used with permission from Whitney Nebeker.   

To Be or Not To Be?

Funny.  After posting yesterday about how nothing important happens, something important happens.  And again, important is a relative term.

I'd seen posters all around campus advertising for an open casting call for campus videos and decided to check it out.  I've done theater for years and had a lot of fun so thought "why not?!"  I didn't even have to prepare a monologue or anything, just show up and give it a shot.  I figured it didn't really matter what happened.  If I got a part in something it would be really fun, and if I didn't, I wouldn't be any worse off then when I started.  

Let's just say the whole experience really made me miss the stage.  I couldn't believe it!!  I haven't done an actual show in over a year and a half and I honestly just miss getting on stage with my friends and having fun.  

Pacing in the lobby before an audition.  Anxiously waiting the posting of a cast list.  Reading the script for the first time and laughing 'till my abs hurt.  Having a million and one inside jokes with other cast and crew.  Doing a scene over and over and over and over because it's supposed to be serious and I can't stop laughing.  Crazy directors.  Crazy stage managers.  Heavy costumes under hot lights.  More makeup in one night than I wear in a week.  Butterflies in my stomach before taking those first few steps.  Getting to be someone else for a few minutes.  Frantically looking for a prop or anything that resembles it to take with me.  Frantically waiting for someone to appear, and if they don't, frantically thinking up fake lines so the audience doesn't know.  Saying a line so many times, the once funny joke is hardly funny to me anymore.  Presenting our hard work to an audience the first night and hearing them laugh at that joke until their abs hurt, and remembering why I love the stage.  Thunderous applause.  Closed curtains.  Tearing a set to smithereens and watching the only evidence of my past three months disappear.  I miss it all.  

They said they'd give me a call sometime if they needed me.  It might be in two weeks, it could be next semester.  Whatever happens is okay with me although I can't imagine how much fun it would be to be a part of something again.  Granted, film is nothing like the stage so it would be a challenge for me.  But that 1 minute audition reminded me of something I once loved to do and something that I will forever be grateful to have had in my life.  To be involved with anything remotely similar would be an amazing experience.        

Ode to a Dog

I regret to inform the rest of the world that our 15-passenger van, Clifford, will be with us no longer.  He died and we are choosing to not seek outside medical help to bring him back to life.  I'm not sure if he signed a DNR before he left us but my parents are just going to assume he did.

Clifford was a great van for us.  We got him back in 2001 (?) when our family expanded to five children.  My parents had the choice between a gray or red one and we obviously chose red.  We were the only large, red van in Green Bay so everyone that saw our van somewhere knew our business.

First picture I could find of him.

Clifford has caused us some problems in his life but I guess that's what happens when you become a member of a family.  On our way back from our big family vacation to Idaho and Utah, his transmission died in Idaho Falls, ID and we were towed to Blackfoot, ID.  Very long story short, we were stranded in Blackfoot for an entire week waiting for him to get fixed.

Getting Towed

Our family stranded in Blackfoot.  At least there's a park there....

 He's hauled us to Utah, Idaho, Wisconsin, Ohio, North Carolina, Niagara Falls, Georgia, and numerous other places.  He's been on high adventure, to girls camp, on a 50 mile bike ride (as the medic, of course), and to Seminary and back a hundred times.  Kings, Queens, Presidents and Prophets have ridden on his noble seats (well maybe future ones...).  When gas was enormously expensive a few years back, the pump wouldn't let us fill the whole tank because it cost over $100.

In Green Bay, about to move to Ohio.

Our family with a couple who's name was Clifford.  They wanted a picture with our license plate...duh.

I loved driving him because he made me feel powerful!  I was five heads above everyone else on the highway except the semi-truck drivers.  When the bigger car got the right-of-way it was always me.  We would turn heads, he and I, because we're just that cool.  Once I backed into a parking spot in Wal*Mart and the guy whose truck was next to me came back and inspected his truck because he thought I hit it.  Idiot.