Failure

I just want to write.  There's no funny story.  No awkward moment.  No delicious culinary masterpiece.  Just mumbo-jumbo mulling around in the gray and white matter in my head.  And I'm really tired so I don't even think anything makes sense at the moment.  Not the most opportune time to blog...maybe I should just stop while I'm ahead.

Isn't life funny?  In one of my classrooms last spring there was a quote that said "What would you do if you knew you would not fail?"  I've thought about that a lot.  What would I do if I knew I wouldn't fail?  What would anyone do?  But then would everyone succeed in everything?  That kind of defeats the purpose of success.  Like if everyone is successful then no one is.  Because if everyone that applied to Harvard got in, it wouldn't be a prestigious school.  If everyone that wanted to be a doctor became one, we would have a world of very good doctors but no one to check out our groceries or make our peanut butter cup blizzards because why would anyone work fast food if they knew they wouldn't fail at something better.

(Now I know that most fast food workers are not in there for life, I'm just trying to make a point and I already said I was tired so bare with me.)

What would happen in a singles ward at BYUI?  Yeah.  Laugh.  I know you're laughing just thinking about it.  But I can see the good and the bad.  No one would have to suffer that awful, awkward date that was doomed to fail from the beginning because it couldn't fail.  But at the same time, you wouldn't even go on dates until you came in contact with the person that you would eventually marry because breaking up is kind of a sign of failure.  And it's kind of lame to not get asked out...trust me.  Plus, some people don't get married until after graduation so they wouldn't have much of a social life during their college years which would be a bummer.  On the positive side, you wouldn't have to worry about asking someone out if you knew they would say yes, or reaching out and grabbing their hand if you knew they wouldn't think you were a freak.  You could flirt it up and not be afraid of looking like an idiot.  Oh the endless possibilities.

So maybe it would be good for some people to have the attitude of non-failure.  But if everyone did, I think we might have a problem.  Although, there's a difference in thinking you won't fail and actually not failing.

I'm definitely not a risk taker.  I like things as they are and as I know they will be.  I'm sure there are numerous things I haven't done because I've been afraid of failure.  I don't think I've ever met someone that likes the feeling of failure.  But you know what?  I'm so grateful for all of the failures out there!  They do what I'm scared to do.  They put themselves, their ideas, their emotions, and/ or their livelihoods on the line and risk it all.  Sometimes it pays off, and sometimes they crash and burn.  Failure makes a good story after the fact.  Especially for those on the outside who weren't affected.

Since we don't know that we won't fail we are forced to take risks whether we want to or not.  Some are bigger than others.  Again, I tend to stay away from the big ones.  I'm deathly afraid of looking like an idiot.  I like to have the appearance of knowing what's going on and what I'm doing, but it makes life a little boring sometimes.  I've probably missed numerous opportunities for friends, relationships, and talents because of that fear.  If you don't put yourself on the line, you really can't succeed.  So if you don't have any big failures can you really have any big successes? 

Thinking about it now, are the lack of complete (and sometimes utterly embarrassing) failures in my life a bad thing?